OOOWW..C'MON!

You Are A Professional Girlfriend!

You are the perfect girlfriend - big surprise! Heaven knows you've had enough practice. That's why you're a total pro. If there was an Emily Post of girlfriends, it would be you. You know how to act in every situation ... to make both you and your guy happy.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?

BESTFRIEND BLUES

I've read this quote a while ago while looking for the perfect picture that can describe the supposed emotion for this post...

"A best friend is a sister that Destiny forgot to give you"

I wanted to cry. I wanted to wail. I wanted to shout my hurt out.

Just last week some silent force made its way to little by little break the many years my best friend and I had had with each other. The complicated issue I cannot explain online but how I was deeply hurt, maybe you could understand. All my life, I've clung to the principle of good friendship. I've been a good friend to almost everybody, especially my two best friends "honey" and "angel". I've dedicated half my life for them, I've experienced life itself with them, I've learned to love with them, I've done mistakes, so many mistakes with them. I loved them dearly. They were the sisters I never had..

But one day..

"Honey" met a man whom she said she loved so much... She ran away with him. She left us. She left me. No one could ever define the hurt I've experienced. I was never used to living life without her, she was my confidante, she was my source of strength. But she left me just like that. So "angel" and I tried living life again, but now it was just the two of us. I tried convincing myself that I can one day live life again not depending on them. But once again I began loving "angel" so much that I was again proud of being the best friend that I am. Never did I thought that soon she would suddenly drop me, ignore me...LEAVE me too.

You see, I was the best friend in the truest sense, I am not bragging. I loved them so much. I never asked for anything in return, I just wanted them to be at my side when I need them. But they never saw me beyond the friendship, they only saw me as the friend who was demanding of their attention and love. They never realized that I was being like that because they were my constant happiness and strength. It pierced every single piece of joy within me when they were gone. It seems I'll just be waiting, just waiting till they come back and see my worth. I just wish.

PINK

Your Nail Polish Color is Pink

How you're unique: You're girly without being high maintenance Why your style rocks: You're the perfect blend of stylish, preppy, and cute What this color says about you: "I am secure enough not to follow every trend"

What Color Nail Polish Best Fits You?

FOR REAL?

People Envy Your Ingenuity

You're a person with unique ideas, big plans, and a zany outlook on life. Many people look to you for inspiration. People envy your creativity and "who cares?" attitude. They feel very ordinary next to you - and they usually are!

What Do People Envy About You?

ABOUT TO BURST!!!

"Aaaaarrrggghhhh!!!"

Did it ever happen to you when you feel like screaming and kicking and hitting everything you get your hands on? The feeling of extreme anger, extreme frustration, extreme everything! I hate not being able to voice out just because I'm JUST the kid. I hate absorbing all the unfair things that are being accused to me because If I answer back, I'm going to be "BASTOS". D*mn! It's annoying to the nerves! I know some of you here who are reading this knows that feeling. It's when you had a shouting match with your mom and she accuses you of unfair things, she always reason out that ONE thing you've been wrong before. Its like everything you do is being based on that one fault. It's excruciatingly unfair!! And what can I do? Nothing! Nothing but keep and continuously absorb all the hatred, all the anger, all the heavy feelings. I just go to the corner and even if I don't want to, I can't help but let an unfaithful tear fall down. This has happened every time, and all through those "Lumayas ka na!", "Wala kang silbi!", "Bobo ka!", "Malandi ka!", "Wala kang galang!", "Sana di ka na nabuhay!"... All that I've kept inside my bag of hurt. And now I'm really fed up and about to burst. I hate it. I hate myself for feeling all this...I miss my bi. I wish we're together now, far far away from all of them...

SOFTLY, GENTLY, I HAVE LET YOU DOWN

The weeks that passed I can never understand. Somehow through my ever confusing life I was brought up to face one of the most difficult I can say, situation. It was where a woman like me started being a girl once more and the girl in me suddenly became a woman. These emotions flew like tornadoes inside my already tormented head that I can barely cling to my own self. It's like when you are a little kitten and you're being bitten by your mom but in a very gentle way just as she can safely tuck you to a safer place, but instead you thought it was danger. It's more of when you are a leaf trying desperately so hard to stick to your branch but you suddenly turn brown and crippled that you have no choice but to let go..and drift with the air to a far far far away land. I cannot contain this agony. I cannot bear the hurtful load of guilt that I carry now. I cannot forgive myself for hurting my strength. I will never forgive myself for hurting my mom...='(

MANAGING A HEART

Okay, how do I start...Wow, again I've ventured into this job where I find many unanswerable and unending questions from the matters of the heart. Well I guess I'm used to it, but I can never be used to from the tiresome cycle of "love me-love me not" crap. 

I've read this book "Men are from Mars Women are from Venus"..It clearly states the differences of men from women and vice-versa. I found the author's theories true, for example, it can never be denied that when a woman is loving, extra-sweet, caring and intimate, the man can't contain himself from admiring. But when the woman begins to be the annoying, nagging, complaining one, the man tends to just give a frown and immediately goes out the door. The point is, men don't understand that women only needs the "lambing" and not the "i-don't-care" mode. Well, as much as my honey and I realize all those things, we can't really adopt the idea.Hence, we experience a lot of hassles and arguments. But I guess what makes us stronger is that very precious moment when after a day of struggles and quarrels and fights, there is that 10minutes or so where we finally just look at each other, not a word, smile, hug and snuggle. Done! I just love Love..