Yesterday, I went to Church with my cousin Jaezelle to hear the Easter Mass. The Church was jam-packed with people so we settled outside and sat on monoblock chairs under a tree, we can still see the ceremony upfront so we were okay just sitting there. Then this cutie little boy, about 9 months old I guess, kept on pushing one of the plastic chairs and his dad would pick him up and let him sit. He can barely walk. But as he sat there with his dad holding him, just in time when the priest was blessing everyone for Easter's essence, he clasped his chubby little hands together and looked up, smiling. He looked so adorable and I just wasn't able to resist taking a picture of him :) He looked like he was praying, all the innocence in his face radiated and the people were staring at him, all smiling. Oh that kid was such a joy :)
Look:
Yay!! After 6 hours of editing, HTML's and Photoshop madness, I'm finally done with the new layout and template! :)
PROUD. This is pure talent you know. Hahaha, I know, I know it's not perfect yet. But then again, I am happy I made it all by myself and didn't just google it. :p
I went to Church today after work. I had this need, no, obligation to fulfill and it kept screaming in my conscience. I have to pay my respect. I have to go home to Him, even for just a short time.
So I bought this pink "palaspas". A way of celebrating Palm Sunday for most of us Filipinos consist of these palm branches.
"Domingo de Ramos or Palm Sunday mass is the first mass of the Holy Week. It celebrates the entry of Jesus to Jerusalem. We’ve learned from the Bible that Jesus entered the town of Jerusalem on a donkey instead of on foot, and was acclaimed by crowds waving branches."
I feel that this is a way that God has led me into, for me to embrace the change that is to happen in my life. It has always been Him who feels my needs, who understands my pains and nurses my failures. And it is for Him that I humbly submit myself.
I know that I'm in the right path... :)
Because I can feel Him holding my hand...always. :)
Say it again.
My bloground song says it for me, haha. What the hell is "bloground"? Geez Ysh. :)
So anyway, here I am ready to scatter some deets for y'all.Whatever happened to me in the past weeks had been all hell and all crap. And when I say hell, it’s really more than that (if there’s such a word).
I'm sick. A rare sickness that doctors call “idiopathic” which means that there's no definite cause, no definite cure, no ETA, no ETD. Whatever. I really don't wanna discuss it much because it makes me all piteous of myself again, and a scratch of my self-esteem is the last thing that I need right now.
On a lighter note, because of this sickness I got to go home in my hometown. Yay! I stayed in Bicol for 12 days and aside from the hospital-house route, I got to see my old friends from grade school :) The downfall is, I cannot drink alcohol anymore, well I still can probably consume 1-2 bottles but more than that? Na-uh. I'd rather not risk having those hideous red rashes all over my legs again. :(
Now I'm back in Manila. Here in my very own crib, all alone. But at least I have a T.V now, and an Internet connection (thank the gods!) and a DVD player (weee) and I still have my job! :p I should be thankful, right?
As for my love life. Oh I'm feeling it. I am getting there :)
I was heartbroken 2 weeks ago.
So heartbroken that I even slumped in the corner of my dark room, all teary and miserable. I slumped there for hours, staring at nothingness, looking like a freaking vampire.
I never thought that that scenario is even possible. I thought it only happens in movies where the damsel-in-distress who's all too stressed and depressed die of a heartbreak.
What a loser. Oh yeah, now I am too. Blah.
But 2 days ago...
He called.
HE called.
I shouted on Facebook:
"He called me. He called ME. Why would he CALL me? WHY?!"
You see? There was excitement in that post. I did see that.
Now I ask myself WHY.
tsk.
"You've got needs, too! Your friends and family often rely on you for taking care of them in various ways, but today is all about you -- so do whatever feels right and let them fend for themselves."
This was my horoscope reading yesterday.
I never believed in those kinds of crap, horoscopes and fortune-telling and zodiacs and blah blah... But sometimes, it's entertaining enough that I spare some space in my Facebook Wall everyday just to have my daily readings.
AND this one hit it in the sack. JACKPOT.
{Super true.}
I just hope whoever it is that decides on what readings to disseminate to the world also knows how make them come true. Sadly, it's for everyone's eyes only.
---
[sidetrack]
I think I'm losing a friend. I hope to the deepest of my heart not.
BUT she shows no compassion, nor care. Very unlikely of her since she's always been one of the most natural when it comes to tender loving care. Well, I am gonna let this slide, I have my own pain to nurse. And to top it all, I am ALONE.
But I miss her. I hope she knows in her heart how much I love and treasure her.
I can only hope :)
I've to sleep now, work waits and lurks after dark. ha ha. *roll eyes*
AJA!!!
I'm finally settled.
Last February 15, 2010, I officially moved out of Cityland and settled my butt here in my new home. I won't tell you where, but I'm just somewhere in Pasig. :)
The place is super nice, the rent is super cheap, the owners are super kind.
I guess God really loves me after all, on the last minute, He guided me and led me to this place. It's safe here and I feel at home despite of the "solitude" :)
Thank you Lord.
I'm moving out.
No grudges or whatsoever, but I feel so blue. I feel so different. She has helped me in so many ways, she was there in my lowest hours, she provided things that I never asked for. BUT. If you feel that she's not herself when with you anymore, if you're starting to breathe in the coldness that emits in her. What do you do?
Don't get me wrong here. I'm not a lesbian talking about my live-in partner. She's a friend. My best friend, my sister in so many ways.
I am just so clueless as to why she's acting this way. I know that someone has been dictating things to her, someone so close to her heart that even our friendship is not enough to stand in between. I understand.
But why let things end this way?
I have been trying my very best to think rational and act wise.
I love her.
BUT sometimes, she has to know that I'm not JUST there for her errands and favors.
That I am her friend too.
"It gets tiring when you're always the one who gives comfort to other people, they don't understand that you need the same someone too."
Happy Valentine's Day everyone! :)
There, there. You might think I'm overly enthusiastic about V-day, you might think I'm one of those people who gives about a bigger deal out of that ordinary day. Seemingly, for me that is, Valentine's day is just another manic date of the year where people get all dramatic and cheesy. Do I sound bitter? No, because I have been bitter, cheesy and corny too. I have been.
Now I promise this won't be all about my bitching and lashing ;) I have been reading my previous posts since I started this blog and my, my, why is it that I was always miserable and unfortunate not to mention panicky on the wretched day?
Did cupid deliberately put me into his blacklist? Or am I just too cool to celebrate the so-called "heart's day"?
2010 is not an exception. How convenient is it to break up with your boyfriend before February 14? I said I didn't mind the day, but then again. It stings like hell.
Oh well. :) At least I'll live.
But what could be worse than dying? I FORGET! I forget details of what I did or of what happened the night before, I always wear an award-winning shocked face when I get to see the pictures and the evidences of my unfortunately unfair crime. And oh I die again. I just die.
I can hate it all I want, but I cannot yield. So there's always a next time for me :p Lucky enough I have wonderful friends who never, never dare to do evil things on me.
Oh I would loove to see them try. Haha :)
Oh here's where the amnesia strikes. What were we doing Vhan? Hahaha
Anyhow, I still had a wicked night! :p
Are we friends? Are we lovers?
Is it over now…
When your heart breaks in silence, you feel the stronger pain. A pain no physical injury can contest, a pain that strokes every vein of your body, a pain that no medicine can cure… but only your tears.
So I cried. I cried and cried, hoping the pain would subside, wishing with all my heart that I would come clean and full again. With the shooting temperature, with all the dizziness and shakiness as my fever embraced me whole, I risked my barriers. For the first time, I crumbled and let myself succumb.
In the romantic era, nineteenth century novels, and those old school plays and movies, the girl dies of heartbreak. LITERALLY. She just can't take it that the love of her life left her and hurt her. She gets grief-stricken that she submits in depression and sooner or later, a maid will find her all cold and dead, with tears spilled on her pillows. I wish I can just do that, but to oppress myself with suicidal attempts is a stupid idea, and idiotic too.
I read once in a book that those situations are what you call “conventions”. Those conventions are things that we accept wholeheartedly when they happen in books or movies even though they never happen in real life.
But when my supposed boyfriend started flicking through numbers of his exes again, it occurred to me that maybe dying of a broken heart might not be a convention at all. If anything can make death a truly desirable option, it is when the love of your life starts choosing his ex over you.
What am I thinking? Get over it and let it pass. How can I digest what my friends are advising me when all I can think of is “I'll never see him again”. It echoes through my being, it rips me apart. And again I cry, I cry so hard.
Can anyone tell me…
Why do I feel like I’m dead?
It takes a man and a woman...
One special moment, to know they're in heaven.
Why does it always have to be the woman to give? Why does it always have to be the man to take? Where's equality in this world? Where?
So I guess I'm back. Happy new year to all! Yeah I know it's uber late but then again, at least... right? So I'm back to work and I had the most wonderful vacation last December. I went home to Mum and Dad and celebrated the holidays with them and the rest of Bicolandia. :D
So how was my 2009?
Average. Not my year I must say, but hell fun! Hmm, let's see if I can do a mindblog recap:
January - Went home bicol with Tamz for Dinapa's Barrio Fiesta. Went dancing with friends at the basketball court-turned-dance floor..haha
February - Spent the bloody V-day alone. Went to Subic :)
March - Went to Iloilo, Guimaras for some beach'in! Was with Yang, Ryan and Ayries.
April - Went home bicol again for Mum's bday! Just in time for the Magayon Festival, not to mention the Beer Plaza at Peñaranda Park! :p
May - My birth month! Celebrated my bday with Jen, Kenji, Miles and Nikka. Team Achieva also had a team building at Loreland Resort, Antipolo.
June - Oh well, this month sucked big time. I had to resign from Convergys, had to move out and had to bitch out with some people who I genuinely thought was true to me.:( On the brighter side, there were a few good ones left. Miles let me stay in her place, and here I am till now. :)
July - What ever happened in July? Oh, Tamz lived with us for almost a month. She escaped the hell that she's toiled for over a year, good thing we knew better than to stay in Geraldine's house. That troll doesn't deserve our compassion anyway. :p The pic was when we visited my aunt and cousins in Parañaque.
August - Lawrence, Jonas and Tamz' bday. I guess I was just out and about the city, night-outs with girlfriends and chillin' at home.
September - Bicol again! :D Had a two-week vacation, bonding with H.S friends. Yuan's christening, and tambay-mode at John's place.hehe
October - Back to business, job-hunting and soul-searching? Haha.
November - And I'm back! To work, that is. Met new friends, missed gimmicks after dark, but love oh love has come my way! (again..) :p
December - The happiest! Was with Mum and Dad, my neighborhood friends, my long-time high school friends, my relatives and my dogs! :)
