THAT THING THEY CALL “FALL OUT OF LOVE”
By Ysh: 10/15/08 -12:36AM
I’m again sitting here at the cold and sometimes freezing production floor of my work office. And as you may have guessed, I am searching every knick-knacks of my entire soul just to find that inspiration I so need when I start into writing pieces of junks like this. Well I do apologize if this may cause you any nose bleeding effect (haha, I would love to have that line for my customers). It’s “avail” now that’s why I had the time and opportunity to scribble this nonsense whatever. But since the title of this post gives out a little sense, I might as well continue the blabbering. (hehehe)
Okay that was easy for a prologue, what the… Hahaha!
I’ve been with someone for two years of my “beautifully” spiced up life and well I can say that he’s been too generous and loving to me, he’s given me every possible thing that may make the spoiled brat in me religiously happy. Hahaha! I myself am laughing at my own choice of words. Well going back, I’ve ventured into a relationship wherein anybody might be just jealous with how my partner nurtures and takes care of me. I’ve been a baby, a princess, a queen. I’ve known well enough every principle, every rule and regulation someone should master before entering in a relationship. I did. It just so happened I forgot the key ingredient: “contentment”. Damn.
I’m not into the very conducive mood of producing a very heart-warming article tonight because from time to time, I am being disturbed by my very demanding customers, duh (whatever customer, you’re such a loser!). See my point here? I am writing as if…well, nothing. Well my prologue did a little better though, it’s just that I can’t see anything or anyone here who can at least make me smile and give me the “inspiration” I need. Sob.
Okay, (sigh). I am falling out of love with my supposed boyfriend. There I said it.
Now what do I do? Bummer… I can keep the emotion in my pandora’s box for as long as I want to but then the remnants remain scattered into my conscious dilemma. I feel guilty. Period. I don’t wanna make him feel like how I’m making him feel right now, but then why am I able to tolerate his hurting?
With all due respect everyone I can honestly, totally attest that no one, no other guy is involved on my part of the issue. I had this like a nightmare, I woke up with the realization that I have been dwelling myself on this unreal and superficial standing with regards to the matters of the heart. But it seemed so perfect, what we had was genuine, was true. I am the wrong end of the line, I can bow and stoop to the lowest ground if need arise that I ask for his understanding and forgiveness. Or I can wait till I finally realize that I’m being impulsive and melodramatic, that I just need the freedom and space that most women of my age and situation feel at one point in time and then we can be happy again… just like before. But then again, the thought only lingers.
Yeah that was deep. Lines go rushing like a torrent into my mind, and I just have to rush myself as well to get to them before they disappear. You see how a writer’s tight spot is? -Inspiration. Maybe that’s what I’m lacking as of the moment, maybe that’s the sole reason why I’m feeling so platonic over my “partner”. Or maybe it’s the distance, I’m here, he’s there. Or maybe the setback is him all along; maybe I’m not seeing the same person anymore. I’d have to admit, I can’t foresee myself living with him in that fairy tale land in the future anymore.
I won’t blame him if he one day expresses his rage and resentment to me. I will take the guilt. I did not however force myself to feel this dormant emotion. I have just wasted two years of happy memories of my life; I have dumped the possibility-slash-reality that I may have found my prince charming already. Damn.
I’ve just once again produced another blog-winning eyesore. Another drama, another stage-show, hahaha! You people have just again read an inkling of what’s happening to me now. I’ve been though hell of a lot, my emotional gauge has been reaching the highest point and then dropping flat low ground. Shit happens.
I can say that again. Shit happens!
I’m again sitting here at the cold and sometimes freezing production floor of my work office. And as you may have guessed, I am searching every knick-knacks of my entire soul just to find that inspiration I so need when I start into writing pieces of junks like this. Well I do apologize if this may cause you any nose bleeding effect (haha, I would love to have that line for my customers). It’s “avail” now that’s why I had the time and opportunity to scribble this nonsense whatever. But since the title of this post gives out a little sense, I might as well continue the blabbering. (hehehe)
Okay that was easy for a prologue, what the… Hahaha!
I’ve been with someone for two years of my “beautifully” spiced up life and well I can say that he’s been too generous and loving to me, he’s given me every possible thing that may make the spoiled brat in me religiously happy. Hahaha! I myself am laughing at my own choice of words. Well going back, I’ve ventured into a relationship wherein anybody might be just jealous with how my partner nurtures and takes care of me. I’ve been a baby, a princess, a queen. I’ve known well enough every principle, every rule and regulation someone should master before entering in a relationship. I did. It just so happened I forgot the key ingredient: “contentment”. Damn.
I’m not into the very conducive mood of producing a very heart-warming article tonight because from time to time, I am being disturbed by my very demanding customers, duh (whatever customer, you’re such a loser!). See my point here? I am writing as if…well, nothing. Well my prologue did a little better though, it’s just that I can’t see anything or anyone here who can at least make me smile and give me the “inspiration” I need. Sob.
Okay, (sigh). I am falling out of love with my supposed boyfriend. There I said it.
Now what do I do? Bummer… I can keep the emotion in my pandora’s box for as long as I want to but then the remnants remain scattered into my conscious dilemma. I feel guilty. Period. I don’t wanna make him feel like how I’m making him feel right now, but then why am I able to tolerate his hurting?
With all due respect everyone I can honestly, totally attest that no one, no other guy is involved on my part of the issue. I had this like a nightmare, I woke up with the realization that I have been dwelling myself on this unreal and superficial standing with regards to the matters of the heart. But it seemed so perfect, what we had was genuine, was true. I am the wrong end of the line, I can bow and stoop to the lowest ground if need arise that I ask for his understanding and forgiveness. Or I can wait till I finally realize that I’m being impulsive and melodramatic, that I just need the freedom and space that most women of my age and situation feel at one point in time and then we can be happy again… just like before. But then again, the thought only lingers.
Yeah that was deep. Lines go rushing like a torrent into my mind, and I just have to rush myself as well to get to them before they disappear. You see how a writer’s tight spot is? -Inspiration. Maybe that’s what I’m lacking as of the moment, maybe that’s the sole reason why I’m feeling so platonic over my “partner”. Or maybe it’s the distance, I’m here, he’s there. Or maybe the setback is him all along; maybe I’m not seeing the same person anymore. I’d have to admit, I can’t foresee myself living with him in that fairy tale land in the future anymore.
I won’t blame him if he one day expresses his rage and resentment to me. I will take the guilt. I did not however force myself to feel this dormant emotion. I have just wasted two years of happy memories of my life; I have dumped the possibility-slash-reality that I may have found my prince charming already. Damn.
I’ve just once again produced another blog-winning eyesore. Another drama, another stage-show, hahaha! You people have just again read an inkling of what’s happening to me now. I’ve been though hell of a lot, my emotional gauge has been reaching the highest point and then dropping flat low ground. Shit happens.
I can say that again. Shit happens!
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