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11 January 2009

Mystery

I'm sick.

I can barely breathe and my temples are throbbing like crazy. I sneeze every 10 seconds and wtf my eyes are all red and teary.

Shit happens so I don't care, I'm still gonna blabber...

I really am not the same me anymore, If you see my Friendster account, you might find the About Me section very different from what I see myself right now. I've changed, and sorry for me but it wasn't for any better. I want to be isolated right now, I am not in-love with Love anymore, I don't care anymore. To hell with that.:(

But this is making me feel weird, I for once and from the very start never thought that this phase of my life would come, I never thought I'm capable of pushing my loving and ideally perfect perception of love aside. But what do you know, it's too late.

I am reading the book Twilight, you know, the movie which recently made fanatics suddenly drool over blood and vampires. Hahaha. But see, I'm not an avid trend-follower, I don't dwell over what's new. I make it and do it my own way. So now I've decided to read the book first before watching the movie, which if I may mention, was soo yesterday. Lols

Going back...

In a week's time I'll be stepping my foot again to my hometown, again I will breathe the air that has nursed me for 22 years, again I will be seeing the people I have toiled life with and bitched with, and only God knows if I'll ever be able to change this current state that I'm in right now. I doubt it, I'm determined to stay this way for a while. No man can ever make this heart breathe for the moment, I am stuck in my own world where no one can hurt me again. Am I in the healing process? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I'm gonna be like this for good. But who the hell knows what's gonna happen...

"Love is gone and my heart is a bird,
that has lost direction mid-flight."
- Laura Ramirez

1 comments:

Anonymous said...

"I want to be isolated right now"
--i was at starbucks yesterday... ALONE. peej and nikki were even teasin me as "EMO".. same frame of mind?? same wavelength?? not surprised anymore.

"I am not in-love with Love anymore, I don't care anymore. To hell with that. :("
--becoming the ice queen, too?? hope i am not the culprit. hope it's not because ye hang around with me that much.. :(

"..only God knows if I'll ever be able to change this current state that I'm in right now. I doubt it, I'm determined to stay this way for a while. No man can ever make this heart breathe for the moment,"
--i've been this way since birth, honey. lol. I was raised not to need a man.

"..I am stuck in my own world where no one can hurt me again. Am I in the healing process? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I'm gonna be like this for good. But who the hell knows what's gonna happen..."
--yeah, only God knows what's gonna happen. what's important is that we are HAPPY.. and we get what we want. we achieve what we want to achieve.. and no one should ever dare hurt ye. if they mess wit ye, they mess wit me.. BIGTIME.


Lovelotz,

J

 
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