No Matter How Small...

I don't know when this video was published. I don't even live in the US to start off, but regardless, I am a soon-to-be mom and the comments I've read in the thread of this video disturbed my whole being. I know I live in a country where the Catholic church have a say in these kinds of issues, be it a national dilemma or not. But where I pondered and tried to think rational and unbiased, the girl's last statement stuck into my thoughts. "Even though you can't see them or hear them at all, a person's a person... no matter how small."

So I stand firm. I know every woman have their individual rights and choices, and not all continents share the same ideals about whether a fetus is a child already or not. Everybody is entitled to their opinions. But if you are a woman, and you see that beating heart of that fetus as early as 7weeks, no matter how wanted or unwanted the pregnancy is, you'll know that the word fetus is only a name, and you'll feel it in your bones that abortion is not a choice, it is if you don't have that thing we call HEART.

Other Half.

Can you believe it's been half a year since I last touched this blog?

HALF A YEAR!

Seriously, I sigh and I whine and I almost cry whenever I visit this blogsite. I feel a scrape of myself fly away like dead leaves, this blog has been my absorber for the past 4 years. My enabler, my de-stresser. But I let 6 whole months pass without a shrug. The abandoned.

I feel terrible that I've ignored this blog for soo long that I almost feel guilty and sorry (as if an online page will grant forgiveness) Lol. :))

I will try bloggy. No promises. I will revive the writer in me.

~Y~

This Guy.

I have been trying, desperately scrambling for thoughts to put into this journal. It has been weeks. How can a million things happen in a month? Things that I never wanted, things that I never imagined to ever occur in my life. Things that I thought I could handle. Turned out I wasn't the superwoman I thought I was after all. :(

I met this guy. This guy whom I thought was just like those other "passers" in my life. Most importantly, from the very beginning, I knew this guy was meant to be short-lived and will just fade away, just like the others. I was so convinced of myself that I was/am molded as hard as a rock already, that this heart won't give-in no matter what. Just like in those other guys.

But I succumbed. I knew I changed from all those sh*ts that happened before, but my phrase "I'm meaner now" proved to be just another bitching. I bitched myself, damn this heart.

But who am I kidding? I am but another Cinderella...always ready to fall into ashes.

When He Called.

I was heartbroken 2 weeks ago.

So heartbroken that I even slumped in the corner of my dark room, all teary and miserable. I slumped there for hours, staring at nothingness, looking like a freaking vampire.

I never thought that that scenario is even possible. I thought it only happens in movies where the damsel-in-distress who's all too stressed and depressed die of a heartbreak.

What a loser. Oh yeah, now I am too. Blah.

But 2 days ago...

He called.

HE called.

I shouted on Facebook:

"He called me. He called ME. Why would he CALL me? WHY?!"

You see? There was excitement in that post. I did see that.

Now I ask myself WHY.

tsk.

Miss Fortune

"You've got needs, too! Your friends and family often rely on you for taking care of them in various ways, but today is all about you -- so do whatever feels right and let them fend for themselves."

This was my horoscope reading yesterday.

I never believed in those kinds of crap, horoscopes and fortune-telling and zodiacs and blah blah... But sometimes, it's entertaining enough that I spare some space in my Facebook Wall everyday just to have my daily readings.

AND this one hit it in the sack. JACKPOT.

{Super true.}

I just hope whoever it is that decides on what readings to disseminate to the world also knows how make them come true. Sadly, it's for everyone's eyes only.

---

[sidetrack]

I think I'm losing a friend. I hope to the deepest of my heart not.

BUT she shows no compassion, nor care. Very unlikely of her since she's always been one of the most natural when it comes to tender loving care. Well, I am gonna let this slide, I have my own pain to nurse. And to top it all, I am ALONE.

But I miss her. I hope she knows in her heart how much I love and treasure her.

I can only hope :)

I've to sleep now, work waits and lurks after dark. ha ha. *roll eyes*

AJA!!!

Promise.

I have a yearning that I've been keeping to myself for quite a while now. I don't understand why it burns in me, but somehow I feel a blazing desire to fulfill the yearning that my heart and mind is craving. I have never thought of anything like it in my whole life, I mean, that's exaggeration because yes I sometimes have, but not to the extent that I feel sore. My body longs for the existence of something warm and gentle, something that can make me whole.

Something. Someone that can make my life complete.

But I live with my virtues. Sometime in the past, I have battered myself and abused my soul to the deepest until I wasn't able to feel anymore. I had my fair share of mistakes, mistakes that I never want to commit again. But who am I to implement something when I know that I am but a weak human being? I can only hope.

Then again, apart from hoping, I wish. I wish with all my heart that someday or sooner, I will feel the soft and sweet breath of the person who can complete my existence in this world. That someday, I will touch the warm smoothness of him/her.

Soon enough, this overflowing love inside my heart, this love that has been swelling and thumping in my cradle will meet its owner.

One day, I will feel you in my arms love.

One day, I will give my all to have you.

Help me.

Help my yearning to meet you.

Find me.

Because I'll be waiting.

My baby.

My sweet, sweet child.

:)

Yes Y, it's V again.

Happy Valentine's Day everyone! :)

There, there. You might think I'm overly enthusiastic about V-day, you might think I'm one of those people who gives about a bigger deal out of that ordinary day. Seemingly, for me that is, Valentine's day is just another manic date of the year where people get all dramatic and cheesy. Do I sound bitter? No, because I have been bitter, cheesy and corny too. I have been.

Now I promise this won't be all about my bitching and lashing ;) I have been reading my previous posts since I started this blog and my, my, why is it that I was always miserable and unfortunate not to mention panicky on the wretched day?

Did cupid deliberately put me into his blacklist? Or am I just too cool to celebrate the so-called "heart's day"?

2010 is not an exception. How convenient is it to break up with your boyfriend before February 14? I said I didn't mind the day, but then again. It stings like hell.

Oh well. :) At least I'll live.

Give and Take

It takes a man and a woman...

One special moment, to know they're in heaven.

Why does it always have to be the woman to give? Why does it always have to be the man to take? Where's equality in this world? Where?

CalendarYsh

Yo!

So I guess I'm back. Happy new year to all! Yeah I know it's uber late but then again, at least... right? So I'm back to work and I had the most wonderful vacation last December. I went home to Mum and Dad and celebrated the holidays with them and the rest of Bicolandia. :D

So how was my 2009?

Average. Not my year I must say, but hell fun! Hmm, let's see if I can do a mindblog recap:

January - Went home bicol with Tamz for Dinapa's Barrio Fiesta. Went dancing with friends at the basketball court-turned-dance floor..haha

February - Spent the bloody V-day alone. Went to Subic :)

March - Went to Iloilo, Guimaras for some beach'in! Was with Yang, Ryan and Ayries.

April - Went home bicol again for Mum's bday! Just in time for the Magayon Festival, not to mention the Beer Plaza at Peñaranda Park! :p

May - My birth month! Celebrated my bday with Jen, Kenji, Miles and Nikka. Team Achieva also had a team building at Loreland Resort, Antipolo.

June - Oh well, this month sucked big time. I had to resign from Convergys, had to move out and had to bitch out with some people who I genuinely thought was true to me.:( On the brighter side, there were a few good ones left. Miles let me stay in her place, and here I am till now. :)

July - What ever happened in July? Oh, Tamz lived with us for almost a month. She escaped the hell that she's toiled for over a year, good thing we knew better than to stay in Geraldine's house. That troll doesn't deserve our compassion anyway. :p The pic was when we visited my aunt and cousins in Parañaque.

August - Lawrence, Jonas and Tamz' bday. I guess I was just out and about the city, night-outs with girlfriends and chillin' at home.

September - Bicol again! :D Had a two-week vacation, bonding with H.S friends. Yuan's christening, and tambay-mode at John's place.hehe

October - Back to business, job-hunting and soul-searching? Haha.

November - And I'm back! To work, that is. Met new friends, missed gimmicks after dark, but love oh love has come my way! (again..) :p

December - The happiest! Was with Mum and Dad, my neighborhood friends, my long-time high school friends, my relatives and my dogs! :)

Been A While

It has been some time now since I last posted. A lot of events has happened and I was such a lazybug to even scribble here.

Whatever happened? I don't know.

I still don't know.

Help?

Philippines' Deadliest Massacre Tests Government

AMPATUAN, Philippines – A few miles off the main highway, on a remote hilltop covered with waist-high grass, bodies lay with twisted hands reaching in the air. They had been shot point-blank.

Nearby, bodies were being laid out under banana leaves Tuesday as police — their faces covered against the stench — unearthed a mass grave containing 22 victims from Monday's ambush on an election caravan. The discovery brought the death toll to 46 — an unprecedented act of violence at the outset of the country's election season.

As many as five people remained unaccounted for.

President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo declared a state of emergency in Maguindanao and a neighboring southern province, sending extra troops and police to try to impose the rule of law.

"No effort will be spared to bring justice to the victims and hold the perpetrators accountable to the full limit of the law," she said.

Few think she will be successful in the impoverished, lawless region that has been outside the central government's reach for generations, and where warlords backed by private armies go by their own rules.

Authorities said the victims included at least 13 Filipino journalists from regional newspapers, TV and radio stations who were accompanying family members and supporters of a gubernatorial candidate out to file his nomination papers for May 2010 elections.

Noynoy Espina, vice chairman of the National Union of Journalists of the Philippines, said as many as 20 journalists may have been in the convoy, based on reports from union chapters in the area.

The figures could not be immediately reconciled, but still the deaths marked "the largest single massacre of journalists ever," according to Paris-based Reporters Without Borders.

Dozens of gunmen intercepted the caravan as it traveled on a two-lane highway that cuts across vast open tracts of land and banana groves, police said. They took some of the people to the grassy area, where the killings started.

Authorities found 24 bullet-riddled bodies sprawled on the ground next to five abandoned vehicles.

Police, aided by a backhoe, worked most of Tuesday to extricate the bodies from the mass grave. All had been shot multiple times and were dumped on top of one another. One was a pregnant woman.

Grieving relatives helped identify their loved ones before they were given the bodies, covered by banana leaves, for burial.

The gubernatorial candidate, Ismael Mangudadatu, was not in the convoy because he had received death threats. He accused a powerful political rival from the Amputuan clan of carrying out the killings.

Mangudadatu's wife, Genalyn, and his two sisters, were among the dead, he said. In all, 21 women and 25 men died, said military spokesman Col. Jonathan Ponce.

Mangudadatu said four witnesses in his protection, whom he refused to identify, had told him the convoy was stopped by gunmen loyal to Andal Ampatuan Jr., a town mayor and rival, to prevent Mangudadatu's family from filing elections papers.

"It was really planned because they had already dug a huge hole (for the bodies)," Mangudadatu said.

He said there were reports from the area that the militia had been blocking the road for a few days.

The Ampatuans, who have ruled one of the nation's poorest regions since 2001, could not be reached for comment.

Arroyo's peace adviser Jesus Dureza said he met Tuesday with Andal Ampatuan, the family's patriarch, and received assurances that his family would cooperate in the investigation.

It was not clear how far Arroyo's administration would go in trying to force the provincial warlords to give up their weapons and private armies.

But Maguindanao's provincial police chief and three other officers were relieved of duty and confined to camp after they were reported to have been seen with the pro-government militiamen who stopped the convoy, police said.

Such militiamen are meant to act as an auxiliary force mobilized by the police or military to fight rebels and criminals, but often they act as private enforcers of local warlords.

Much of the southern island of Mindanao, including Maguindanao province, used to be ruled by fiercely independent sultans who fought Spanish and American colonizers. The political dynasties of the Ampatuans and the Mangudadatus behave in a much similar way — ruling by force, unopposed in their turfs with little outside interference.

Julkipli Wadi, a professor of Islamic studies at the University of the Philippines, said he doubted the national government's resolve in trimming the powers of political dynasties like the Ampatuans because they deliver votes during elections.

"Because of the absence of viable political institutions, powerful men are taking over," he said. "Big political forces and personalities in the national government are sustaining the warlords, especially during election time, because they rely on big families for their votes."

By AARON FAVILA, Associated Press Writer

The Naked Truth

For over a year of being single, not to mention celibate, I have realized so many things about relationships and sex. Okay, so maybe embracing celibacy was an exaggeration, because every time I see a human male even tenuously attractive and over the age of twenty, I start to dribble and engage in a battle with my very own willpower. But, really I had sworn off dating men. Haha.

I needed to concentrate my energies on the F word. FOCUS.

Exactly one year ago, I broke ties with the man whom I fell in-love and sworn promises with. I had my own reasons and I may have mentioned it here before that “Falling out of Love” really does exist. For months I have pondered if I was only making it a reason just so I can start the ball rolling with other men, but then again, this day proves that I have not cheated, lied, neither disgraced the once genuine relationship that we had.

For women, the word “tired” is like a make-up essential always ready to grab inside the bag. Once in our very happy relationship with our partners, we get tired. Some for reasons like a hot anorexic third-party, a behavior so negatively un-appealing, or just pure indifferences. But some get tired for no reason at all. Some just gets that premonition of the future and it settles in the brain, it shouts in the heart that this man, this man whom you are so in-love with is not your destined Mr. Right.

It is unfair, some may say. But this wretched boy-meets-girl and vice-versa is a never-ending puzzle and will always be intriguing. That is why we still engage in the same situation over and over again, even if we already know what’s waiting for us in the end. Women love the idea of being in-love. That, my friends is a fact.

So now that I have overused my brain for a year of contemplating and just trying to figure out the rules of the heart, I got tired. And I am ready to plunge myself into the proverbial pit of limbo- AGAIN. I can just shrug my shoulders and shout “what the hell!” as long as I get the loving that I soo need right now. And there goes the exaggeration of embracing celibacy straight to the trash, thank you very much. :)

“She was the unsettled hen who always fell for the wrong cock” – The Naked Truth

Now what?

Really...How much waiting for that one true love can someone tolerate?

Dark Eyes

Sometimes, in darkness and insularity, people face their point of realization. Then in times of bliss and comfort, all they see are blinded judgments and unclear waters. This may be life’s way of making people see beyond what’s there. Beneath the sea of dreams there might lay a dark corner of failures, behind the mountains of misery might be an island of pure joy and happiness. The world is a huge maze of mystery for most. Some see it as a land of struggles and fears whilst some view their surroundings with utmost enthusiasm and hope for an ever constant changing life. I see it as it is. A provider.

When people are born, they come with such lucid eyes that make just everything so gentle for them. Yet when people grow up, those eyes get trapped in a misty blanket that most often leads them to blindness. If people can only look beyond the darkness, if only a few minutes are spared and they would look deeper, they might see the light. I know that this is a little vague for you my readers but then, it makes me wonder and realize at the same time that the eyes is the only hope that we have right now in this crazy world. As I write in the middle of the night where I can’t see anything but the light of the screen of my computer, I thought about one thing. What if the lights come off? Will I ever get to finish whatever I started? And I looked around. I tried so hard to look beyond the darkness. Little by little my eyes saw, and something flickered inside of me. HOPE.

“If you look deep and hard, you will see. In life, you’ll reap what you sow… so never get tired of looking what you want in life, use your eyes, use it well.”- Ysh.:)

IMAGINE.

IMAGINE. I was always a dreamer. I used to get lost in my own made-up world. I stare blank outside country lanes while inside a bus, imagining my dream house, the things I don’t have and what I so want to have. I think of my prince charming waiting for me on the most amazing places I can imagine. I believed that I was a princess and I can have anything and get to keep them forever. It kept me strong you know, it kept my hopes up, it heals me when I’m in pain, it satisfies me in all ways, it has always been my own secret garden. But it’s just all inside my mind.

I yearned for everything sugar and spice and just about everything nice. I was optimistic and I think of the world as a big bright colorful patch blanket. I used to see things with utmost enthusiasm that sometimes I can’t contain the hopes and the dreams that I carry around with me. I remember the days I spent with my best friends under a mango tree we called ours. We would climb and name each of the branches, one for each of us to sit and own. The river at the back of our house would serve as our pool and a heat quencher in the hottest days of summer, I would squeal whenever I see my playmates catch a fish or a shrimp, I would laugh till my lungs hurt on our story telling and gossip times and I would always be the mediator when two of them brawl with each other. I was so happy.

My eyes then, they reflected so many dreams and I would, if only I could…I would exchange this life for a rewind of the tape. But a person grow and leaves things behind, sometimes it just slips out of their minds like a bad dream. And now I know, after all the misery, the broken hearts, the disappointments…

Stupid girl, I should’ve known, I should have known…

“That I’m not a princess, this ain’t a fairytale, I’m not the one you sweep off your feet, lead her up the stairwell, this isn’t Hollywood, this is a small town, I was a dreamer before you had let me down now it’s too late for you and your white horse to come around.”

But this princess has suffered the consequences and was drawn away from her dreamland. Now it’s all black and white. Now it’s all reality. And with all the distress, I have to face the truth that I FORGOT. I forgot to imagine, I forgot that I’ve always had that place inside of me where I can run to whenever I’m hurt. I know, I lost my secret garden.

“Until you lose the one you wanted coz you’ve taken it for granted and everything you had got destroyed…”

If only I could… like what Melinda of Ghost Whisperer got, “a second shot at your one true love”, but when I come to think of it, have I even met my one true love?

If only I could… like what Gossip Girl said,“the only way to get over someone is to get another someone”, but why does that logic never apply to me?

If only I could… like Shakespeare’s quote, “All’s well that ends well” but sometimes, sometimes it just ends.

I made up my own phrase, quote, line, passage, whatever you call it when I compiled my stories and poems into a book I guess five or six years ago. Funny coz I wrote “Life is a crystal in everyone’s palm, if you hold it tight it might break, but if you hold it loose, it might fall down”. Now I truly believe that some people “eat their own words”.

“You’re hot and you’re cold, you’re yes then you’re no, you’re in then you’re out, you’re up and you’re down, you’re wrong when it’s right, it’s black and it’s white…”

See? IMAGINE my CONFUSION.

The Breakup Bible

Gently but surely...

Mika: Why don't you give him another chance?
Ysh: I gave him a chance and he used it to be an ass.
Mika: Oookaaay, no arguments. Hahaha

"I've never given much thought to how I would die, But dying in the place of someone I love, Seems like a good way to go... So, I can't bring myself to regret the decision to leave home..."
Bella's intro to the movie Twilight kept buzzing in my ears,
I don't know why the friggin' earth it knitted in me again.

Mum was here in Manila for a week and she just boarded the bus en route to Legazpi two hours ago.
She bought me a book. Sometimes, you have to hate and love moms for knowing just what you need but not knowing what you want. This pink book that shouts to my nerves and gives me the blank stare. The energy that it emits says "come and get me" but I just am too scared to touch the hotness of its color regardless the fact that it's my favorite. Maybe it's the title that gave it all.

THE BREAKUP BIBLE.

I'll read it.
I promise.
I always, always treasure every single thing that Mom gives me.
And if this helps, it will.

I read the synopsis and well, I cannot argue with the fact that
my mother is the only entity within all this universe who knows and understands the real me.
The leading character of the book is a writer, has two bestfriends, had a punctured heart by a boy who thinks he's the god of all machos. Ugh.

"Heartbreak...It's when you know it's funny but you can't laugh at all."--by the book

I am neither. But if Mom thinks that this will help,

It will...gently but surely..:)

Time to read! :D

Mystery

I'm sick.

I can barely breathe and my temples are throbbing like crazy. I sneeze every 10 seconds and wtf my eyes are all red and teary.

Shit happens so I don't care, I'm still gonna blabber...

I really am not the same me anymore, If you see my Friendster account, you might find the About Me section very different from what I see myself right now. I've changed, and sorry for me but it wasn't for any better. I want to be isolated right now, I am not in-love with Love anymore, I don't care anymore. To hell with that.:(

But this is making me feel weird, I for once and from the very start never thought that this phase of my life would come, I never thought I'm capable of pushing my loving and ideally perfect perception of love aside. But what do you know, it's too late.

I am reading the book Twilight, you know, the movie which recently made fanatics suddenly drool over blood and vampires. Hahaha. But see, I'm not an avid trend-follower, I don't dwell over what's new. I make it and do it my own way. So now I've decided to read the book first before watching the movie, which if I may mention, was soo yesterday. Lols

Going back...

In a week's time I'll be stepping my foot again to my hometown, again I will breathe the air that has nursed me for 22 years, again I will be seeing the people I have toiled life with and bitched with, and only God knows if I'll ever be able to change this current state that I'm in right now. I doubt it, I'm determined to stay this way for a while. No man can ever make this heart breathe for the moment, I am stuck in my own world where no one can hurt me again. Am I in the healing process? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe I'm gonna be like this for good. But who the hell knows what's gonna happen...

"Love is gone and my heart is a bird,
that has lost direction mid-flight."- Laura Ramirez

I Need A Vacation!

I feel so weary and surreal at the same time..haaay..I think I need, no I want a vacation! A real one, I don't care if I'm all alone I just need a vacation! I've often looked outside my window and I see the majestic Mt. Mayon, you see I live where one of the 8 wonders of the world is..(am I right?) When I look at the volcano, I feel eased and relaxed, I suddenly wish I want to see more volcanoes and mountains..I can't wait for the feeling it might give me, I want to be in Hawaii, in Europe, wherever! To lie in the sands of the Caribbean and to just stare at the blue sky with a lemon juice on my lips..I want to sleep on a hammock tied on a coconut tree, breathing the ocean and touching the sandy wind on my cheeks. Do you imagine what I'm dying to wish for? I really need a break, my life all so seemed stagnant, re-winded and still. I want change, I need change. This is really how I feel right now.

WHERE TO GO?

I feel so surreal, so lost, so down. I wonder about my future, I think about how my life would go in about five or more years, and I get scared, so scared. All my life, I've been so dependent to everyone around me, being an only child, what do you expect? I'm not raised to be a spoiled brat but I sometimes, the word fits me so well. I'm scared to go on alone, never having anyone to give me the constant advices I need, not having my mom with me who gives me so much strength just with her skin close to mine. I'm scared to live life in another perspective, not like the lifestyle I got so used to I can't even imagine if I can get it out of my system. I'm lazy, period. I'm such a couch potato, a sleeper and a reader, my room is a mess, my clothes are everywhere-clean and/or not. Bring that all together and you get one lazy, sluggish and inoperable Ms. Potato. Sometimes I can laugh at all my habits and antics all day, I promise a lot more than often that I'll change my ways the next day, but "tomorrow" seems to be a forever-word. Now I'm almost 22, I should be working, I should be living on my own and starting to stabilize my future, yet I am so scared of what might come up when I don't get rid of my problems. I can't start alone, but I should. But how? Even my special friend finds it so hard in helping me eliminate my closet's skeleton (oh that's a metaphor). I just hope this 2008 brings me good luck and good sense of direction in life. I seriously need lots of them..Ciao!

MY RUMMAGE

Now what? Nothing…still no one makes my life exciting. I am just a typical person full of enthusiasm in life. I live by my own creed, I talk with my own words and I follow my own orders. Before, I never believed that that thing they call “partnership” would complete me. My being alone does not make me happy. Although I do not consider myself useless and pathetic, I just can’t seem to find the right reasons to be happy all the time.
I’m an introvert person but sure I’m optimistic enough to survive. I don’t delude myself into thinking that my happiness lies in that one person and that once I find him, he’ll stick around. But my lack of contentment, satisfaction and ease of mind and heart pesters my damn life! They say you will never find those in one human being, what a waste of time! Waiting and searching for the one…but hey! I can’t help it, its human nature to want to love and be loved in return! I guess I just can’t escape the truth that I will never be contented without a partner.

Oh yeah, it’s not only me…there are many other dilemma-attacked humans scattered out there. Like, hello? Do I have to pretend dying just because I’m a third-wheel? I hate it when I know I have to deal with life’s promises. I never believed but now, in my lonely status, I know I have to… and I will.Maybe I was just left out from the blessing of partnership that God has given…well, that’s why I’m still here, seeking for love and affection, searching for the person who will at least make my life worthwhile. But where are they? Or should I say he? Is he looking for me too? Or have I found him already? My mind is full of questions that kept on clinging to my nerves. I pity myself for being so undeserving of anyone’s care and attention. Or am I? I’m not saying that no one loves me, of course there are my parents, my best friends and my relatives…but c’mon! Let’s get to the point I’m not in search for parental guidance or friendship affection! I have them already, who I’m looking for is someone who will unconditionally present to me his love and will fully accept mine too. Someone who is willing to devote himself to me and bring me contentment I seek, with all that there’s no doubt I’m going to be happy. Happy to the extent that I’m ready to stop grumbling and complaining about life. I’m wondering if I will be coming to the point that I’m going to spend my entire lifetime searching endlessly for him…till when will I be longing for his embraces and hugs and cares all my life? I guess I have to take the risk by after all. Uhh? Why am I getting paranoid anyway? If I don’t find him…in due time, I’m just here…still here, continuing my rummage…waiting…and perhaps he’ll find me instead…=)

-I wrote this when I was 17. Obviously, I was at the brink of "why-am-I-alone" state. Yet, I'd like to share this with you guys, who knows, some may even relate with my topsy-turvy rummaging story..=)

haha