WHERE TO GO?

I feel so surreal, so lost, so down. I wonder about my future, I think about how my life would go in about five or more years, and I get scared, so scared. All my life, I've been so dependent to everyone around me, being an only child, what do you expect? I'm not raised to be a spoiled brat but I sometimes, the word fits me so well. I'm scared to go on alone, never having anyone to give me the constant advices I need, not having my mom with me who gives me so much strength just with her skin close to mine. I'm scared to live life in another perspective, not like the lifestyle I got so used to I can't even imagine if I can get it out of my system. I'm lazy, period. I'm such a couch potato, a sleeper and a reader, my room is a mess, my clothes are everywhere-clean and/or not. Bring that all together and you get one lazy, sluggish and inoperable Ms. Potato. Sometimes I can laugh at all my habits and antics all day, I promise a lot more than often that I'll change my ways the next day, but "tomorrow" seems to be a forever-word. Now I'm almost 22, I should be working, I should be living on my own and starting to stabilize my future, yet I am so scared of what might come up when I don't get rid of my problems. I can't start alone, but I should. But how? Even my special friend finds it so hard in helping me eliminate my closet's skeleton (oh that's a metaphor). I just hope this 2008 brings me good luck and good sense of direction in life. I seriously need lots of them..Ciao!