Memoirs 2.0 WHY

I feel different. I cannot write down the things that happened. Not that I shouldn't.. But I can't. I just can't. 5 or 10  or who knows how many years from now, I'll read this again and I would know --- yes, you know what I'm talking about.

I'm inside the bus, here in Cubao, enroute to my hometown... And my mind flies to every single detail of everything that happened. All the things that I've done here for the part 5 days. 

I feel what? 

Am I happy? OH GOD YES. 

Am I regretful? .................

There are parts that I deeply regret and my heart feels like being crushed by the gods. But... It was a risk I took that my heart really, really wanted. 

Just like my first memoir... If everything happens for a reason, then there must be even the littlest bit of reason for this. There must be... Or else I'm going to really wallow in the dark again. 

I'm weak. I need to talk. I need to let this out. I need to see reason. I mustn't lose my trust. I must believe. I want to cry... :'(

Shit. 

Hey Ysh,

What have you done? Are you happy? What do you feel? 

What do you feel?

~Y

12.13.15