"if you just realize what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
and we'll never find another
just realize what I just realized...."
then we'd be perfect for each other
and we'll never find another
just realize what I just realized...."
Realize.
Some things can never be understood without the perfect words, the perfect emotions and the perfect explanation. But then, when I think about what happened to me these past few days, I almost die. I realized. I knew. I found the answer. At one point or another I was so sure that I can live blissfully without him, that I can easily shout out "next please!", I was pretty convinced that "falling out of love" is normal. Yes it is, but to me? It is unbearable. I realized that those simple matters of the heart can simply pull the living hell out of me, I was that vulnerable, I was that craving.
Doubts.
Yes it's true. I'm a jealous person. I tend to imagine things, most of them unimaginable already that it almost get my wits stand on end. I am, I know I am not so much of a dumb person not to know or guess that some things are boiling behind my back. I am mean, yep (surprise!). I am not selfish but for some exception I can be the last person you ever wanna see if you touch what's already printed with my name on. Like him. He's mine. Are you scared? (you know who you are...I'm gonna get you!)
Changes.
I want change. Lots of it. I am so tired, so exhausted of seeing, feeling, doing almost the same things everyday of my life..
Some things can never be understood without the perfect words, the perfect emotions and the perfect explanation. But then, when I think about what happened to me these past few days, I almost die. I realized. I knew. I found the answer. At one point or another I was so sure that I can live blissfully without him, that I can easily shout out "next please!", I was pretty convinced that "falling out of love" is normal. Yes it is, but to me? It is unbearable. I realized that those simple matters of the heart can simply pull the living hell out of me, I was that vulnerable, I was that craving.
Doubts.
Yes it's true. I'm a jealous person. I tend to imagine things, most of them unimaginable already that it almost get my wits stand on end. I am, I know I am not so much of a dumb person not to know or guess that some things are boiling behind my back. I am mean, yep (surprise!). I am not selfish but for some exception I can be the last person you ever wanna see if you touch what's already printed with my name on. Like him. He's mine. Are you scared? (you know who you are...I'm gonna get you!)
Changes.
I want change. Lots of it. I am so tired, so exhausted of seeing, feeling, doing almost the same things everyday of my life..
"my heart can't possibly break when it wasn't even whole to start with..."
Feel.
Bear with me here.
Feel.
"Oh baby I need you,
to see me the way I see you
lovely, wide awake
in the middle of my dreams..."
to see me the way I see you
lovely, wide awake
in the middle of my dreams..."
I always dream of the worst situations I never want to see ever. In it I see him blankly telling me to my face that he's off for someone (he thinks) better, and in my dreams, he hurts me so much, so much that even my unconscious sleeping body cant bear. I wake up with my pillow drenched in hot tears...
"I cried myself to sleep last night
when I woke up,
there we're tear stains on my pillow...
without you in my life
I will always feel lonely..."
when I woke up,
there we're tear stains on my pillow...
without you in my life
I will always feel lonely..."
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