Starting it Right

I went to Church today after work. I had this need, no, obligation to fulfill and it kept screaming in my conscience. I have to pay my respect. I have to go home to Him, even for just a short time.

So I bought this pink "palaspas". A way of celebrating Palm Sunday for most of us Filipinos consist of these palm branches.

"Domingo de Ramos or Palm Sunday mass is the first mass of the Holy Week. It celebrates the entry of Jesus to Jerusalem. We’ve learned from the Bible that Jesus entered the town of Jerusalem on a donkey instead of on foot, and was acclaimed by crowds waving branches."

I feel that this is a way that God has led me into, for me to embrace the change that is to happen in my life. It has always been Him who feels my needs, who understands my pains and nurses my failures. And it is for Him that I humbly submit myself.

I know that I'm in the right path... :)

Because I can feel Him holding my hand...always. :)

Straight from Hell ;)

Hope Full :)

Say it again.

 

My bloground song says it for me, haha. What the hell is "bloground"? Geez Ysh. :)

So anyway, here I am ready to scatter some deets for y'all.Whatever happened to me in the past weeks had been all hell and all crap. And when I say hell, it’s really more than that (if there’s such a word).

I'm sick. A rare sickness that doctors call “idiopathic” which means that there's no definite cause, no definite cure, no ETA, no ETD. Whatever. I really don't wanna discuss it much because it makes me all piteous of myself again, and a scratch of my self-esteem is the last thing that I need right now.

On a lighter note, because of this sickness I got to go home in my hometown. Yay! I stayed in Bicol for 12 days and aside from the hospital-house route, I got to see my old friends from grade school :) The downfall is, I cannot drink alcohol anymore, well I still can probably consume 1-2 bottles but more than that? Na-uh. I'd rather not risk having those hideous red rashes all over my legs again. :( 

Now I'm back in Manila. Here in my very own crib, all alone. But at least I have a T.V now, and an Internet connection (thank the gods!) and a DVD player (weee) and I still have my job! :p I should be thankful, right?

As for my love life. Oh I'm feeling it. I am getting there :)

When He Called.

I was heartbroken 2 weeks ago.

So heartbroken that I even slumped in the corner of my dark room, all teary and miserable. I slumped there for hours, staring at nothingness, looking like a freaking vampire.

I never thought that that scenario is even possible. I thought it only happens in movies where the damsel-in-distress who's all too stressed and depressed die of a heartbreak.

What a loser. Oh yeah, now I am too. Blah.

But 2 days ago...

He called.

HE called.

I shouted on Facebook:

"He called me. He called ME. Why would he CALL me? WHY?!"

You see? There was excitement in that post. I did see that.

Now I ask myself WHY.

tsk.

Post Secrets

{sigh}

My Sentiments Exactly

Miss Fortune

"You've got needs, too! Your friends and family often rely on you for taking care of them in various ways, but today is all about you -- so do whatever feels right and let them fend for themselves."

This was my horoscope reading yesterday.

I never believed in those kinds of crap, horoscopes and fortune-telling and zodiacs and blah blah... But sometimes, it's entertaining enough that I spare some space in my Facebook Wall everyday just to have my daily readings.

AND this one hit it in the sack. JACKPOT.

{Super true.}

I just hope whoever it is that decides on what readings to disseminate to the world also knows how make them come true. Sadly, it's for everyone's eyes only.

---

[sidetrack]

I think I'm losing a friend. I hope to the deepest of my heart not.

BUT she shows no compassion, nor care. Very unlikely of her since she's always been one of the most natural when it comes to tender loving care. Well, I am gonna let this slide, I have my own pain to nurse. And to top it all, I am ALONE.

But I miss her. I hope she knows in her heart how much I love and treasure her.

I can only hope :)

I've to sleep now, work waits and lurks after dark. ha ha. *roll eyes*

AJA!!!

This is MY Now

I'm finally settled.

Last February 15, 2010, I officially moved out of Cityland and settled my butt here in my new home. I won't tell you where, but I'm just somewhere in Pasig. :)

The place is super nice, the rent is super cheap, the owners are super kind.

I guess God really loves me after all, on the last minute, He guided me and led me to this place. It's safe here and I feel at home despite of the "solitude" :)

Thank you Lord.

Someone

I'm moving out.

No grudges or whatsoever, but I feel so blue. I feel so different. She has helped me in so many ways, she was there in my lowest hours, she provided things that I never asked for. BUT. If you feel that she's not herself when with you anymore, if you're starting to breathe in the coldness that emits in her. What do you do?

Don't get me wrong here. I'm not a lesbian talking about my live-in partner. She's a friend. My best friend, my sister in so many ways.

I am just so clueless as to why she's acting this way. I know that someone has been dictating things to her, someone so close to her heart that even our friendship is not enough to stand in between. I understand.

But why let things end this way?

I have been trying my very best to think rational and act wise.

I love her.

BUT sometimes, she has to know that I'm not JUST there for her errands and favors.

That I am her friend too.

"It gets tiring when you're always the one who gives comfort to other people, they don't understand that you need the same someone too."

Promise.

I have a yearning that I've been keeping to myself for quite a while now. I don't understand why it burns in me, but somehow I feel a blazing desire to fulfill the yearning that my heart and mind is craving. I have never thought of anything like it in my whole life, I mean, that's exaggeration because yes I sometimes have, but not to the extent that I feel sore. My body longs for the existence of something warm and gentle, something that can make me whole.

Something. Someone that can make my life complete.

But I live with my virtues. Sometime in the past, I have battered myself and abused my soul to the deepest until I wasn't able to feel anymore. I had my fair share of mistakes, mistakes that I never want to commit again. But who am I to implement something when I know that I am but a weak human being? I can only hope.

Then again, apart from hoping, I wish. I wish with all my heart that someday or sooner, I will feel the soft and sweet breath of the person who can complete my existence in this world. That someday, I will touch the warm smoothness of him/her.

Soon enough, this overflowing love inside my heart, this love that has been swelling and thumping in my cradle will meet its owner.

One day, I will feel you in my arms love.

One day, I will give my all to have you.

Help me.

Help my yearning to meet you.

Find me.

Because I'll be waiting.

My baby.

My sweet, sweet child.

:)