"Did you forget? That I was even alive, did you regret? Everything we had inside.. Did you forget about me?"
Well well, years ago I was on this phase. I so thought that the girl that I once was, was gone. I was very wrong..
Timing is one of the judges of life. Destiny is fatal. I wanted to secure every single decision that I made just so I don't regret anything in the end. I so wanted to make everything right... just so I can say to myself that I made the right thing, and with no regrets I can continue with my life as it is right now.
But when Fate interferes, Timing and Destiny falls out.
I keep hoping for that special person who I consider still as mine, though we or I decided to stay low and part ways I still give a damn about him, but he opts not to care. Okay, I can deal with that, nor if I find out that he's spending time with someone new, I can totally understand.
I just wanted a pleasant closure (Why do I hate that word?)
So, CLOSURE. YES, I GOT IT. He made it seem so easy. Maybe it was really that easy and I was just procrastinating the thought that he will pull the end of the rope that's still tied onto me. But he cut it. So now I'm wandering. Really, how much shit can happen into your life before you even consider you had a truce with the sin-meter already?
Maybe what really makes me tick is the fact that no one really gives a damn. I wanted to talk, nada. IT WASN'T REAL! I will be forever stuck here and he will be forever tied there! How serious can it get? I hate it that now I'm the one with collapsing, crashing and crumbling hopes which, I rebuild on a daily basis, only to let it slide into a rubble at the end of the day. If you don't get what I'm saying, let me slap it into your face:
I MISS YOU!!!!! You enormously stubborn pain in the ass!!!!!
Shit happens.
Just like that, 2 memoirs in a row. Jusko.
~Y
11.05.15
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