Last month, October 26, 2015. I was here.... I was happily humming and my joy was just uncontainable. The full moon shone like all the light was for me.. For us.
It was the eve of a special day.
Now... I'm here again. Exactly where I sat, with the same friend that I was with.. And the full moon slaps me with the pain of the memories of everything.
Tonight is again the eve of a special day.
At least for me, it still is.
If anyone asks me how I am at this very moment, i'd probably just bat an eyelash, flash a grim smile and breathe deep. I'm stronger now. He continuously stabs me over and over and over again.. I'm numb but still tender to the core. Why? I don't know. One day I decided that i've moved on, before I knew it, they slap me in the face with yet another reason to bleed.
They keep opening my wounded heart, over and over and over.
This time? It's a weak spot. Maria Clara--- the "ME" Maria Clara. Killing her was one thing that made a part of my heart die. But, reviving her into another person? I think my heart just died again.
I try my very best to understand given the reasons he's laid. I'm hurt. Lahat na lang binawi saakin...
Lakambini was formed FOR ME, he said. Maria Clara was ME, he said. CJ loves me, he said. All that he said, I embraced with all of me. Only to be taken away from my grip with my tears.
Dear heart,
What do I do? Stop na. Please? :'( One month has passed, the same amount of time when I fell in love without reservations. A month of wallowing into heartaches and tears is enough. Tama na... Mukha ka nang tanga.
Kanta ka na lang...
"Don't speak, I know what you're thinking and I don't need your reasons.. Don't tell me CAUSE IT HURTS"
~Y
11.26.15
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